Archive for the ‘Absolute Ridiculousness’ Category
Sex, drive
Throwing away for a moment the clichés involving cars and their affiliation with ego (or appendage), your average freeway (or motorway) is often a congested, confusing and frustrating place. We all know the idealism that exists behind them, that they’re meant to aide us in our never-ending quest to get where we want to go, as quickly as possible. A great idea in theory, but a practicality that drifts further away as increasing numbers of drivers crowd the road.
It’s not hard to deconstruct exactly why most freeways end up resembling car parks more often then they do freely-moving streams of happy drivers. It starts with Sunday drivers, lane dodgers, then breakdowns and accidents. Before you know it, every driver on the road has a CSI badge, and it is their personal job and sole intention mid-commute to inspect every crash/accident scene.
It’s only natural that amidst all the chaotic tension, that your mind wonder a little bit. You might sneak a glance at the newspaper on your passenger seat, check your hair in the rear-view or turn up the radio for a quick sing-a-long. Whatever the choice, the quick break in concentration usually dissipates when the traffic starts to flow again. Except maybe in Norway:
A Norwegian man faces a heavy fine and a driving ban after police caught him having sex with his girlfriend while speeding on a motorway. (SMH)
Now, I don’t claim to be a straight arrow by any means. Your car is your castle, so do as you please – but within reason.
As comical as this is from the outset, this quickie (poor pun intended) distraction was potentially life threatning for other drivers. The driver in question has his view obstructed, using the speed of his vehicle as metaphoric goal posts. His passenger is girating around the vehicle, clearly not wearing a seatbelt (or much else). Other drivers on the road are faced with a speeding, swerving car with two sets of headlights to look at – and the confounding decision of on which set they should be focusing. It’s all very erotic, dangerous and very, very perplexing.
The main concern here however, is what happens next. Without a license and a car, this driver is somewhat limited to the types of transport that he can have sex on/in. Doing it on a bike is uncomfortable and far from elegant or discreet. Taxis are too vouyeristic and the mileage isn’t great. Doing it on a train or bus is simply inexcusable and shows complete disregard for your fellow passengers.
Because, even if they’ve got music on to block out the noise and sunglasses so you cant see them watching, nobody wants to sit in the wet patch.
